How does one keep the glow when working, taking care of kids, loving the hubby, walking the dog, tidying up the house, driving carpools, attending soccer games, exercising, shopping for groceries, and cooking the groceries? The glow is advertised everywhere in cosmetic ads and tampon commercials. Looks like it should be easy to maintain with lotions and makeup and magnetic lashes. However, the teen spirit in our home is wrecking havoc on my inner glitter. The people who call me mom leave empty peanut butter jars and bags of chips in the pantry. Milk gallons with mere dribbles are put back in the frig. Plastic wrappers are scattered on the floor. Seltzer cans are all over the house. To top it off, lots of spoons are missing! I’ve been reduced to saying IT.
“IT” is the most ridiculous sentence 99.7% of moms say: “I am not the maid!”
I asked friends on Facebook if they had to deal with these issues and evidently this is a common problem. There were lots of comments. Lots. One friend mentioned that it’s not just her kids. Her husband is also part of the “I-Believe-There-Is-A-Magical-Dispensary-That-Refills-Necessary-Items” Club. Thank the heavens Dan Bragg is not in that club.
Look, I’m not complaining. Well, maybe a little. It’s just that it is so perplexing. Teens should be able to pick up after themselves. We’re talking basic human behavior – Change your underwear. Brush your teeth. Shake your money maker.
One friend suggested to put all the “empties” on their beds. I may do it just to see if we break the Guinness World Record in Biggest Eye Rolls. Envision my 15 year old, walking into his room seeing the duvet covered with milk jugs, a gooey Jiffy jar, and a pile of soda cans. Actually, I don’t think he would care. I could take bets on how long he would sleep with those items. It wouldn’t bother him. And that’s the point.
It’s worth noting that the friend who suggested leaving said items on the comforter does not have kids. Hmmm. Maybe I could make the trash into an art installation and glue the garbage together with the dregs of peanut butter. (Future picture forthcoming.)
I’m still looking for answers to teach the kids but in the meantime decided to enter a contest to get the heck out of my minivan. See video entry below. It is a trip to Florence, Italy with Kathy Lee and Hode. Years ago, before she was famous, I walked beside Hode Kotb on the street in NYC. I said hi because I like to talk to strangers. I remembered her name by using the word association “Hold Your Coffee.” She is a 10 on the friendly scale. (I know friendly because I have SFC – Southern Friendly Condition.) I want to go to Italy with her and drink vino.
While I wait to hear if I’m traveling with Hold Your Coffee, I’m ignoring the empties and focusing on the fulls. When does my heart feel full? It feels full when I drive my son to school and he says I love you while hurrying to get out of the car as quickly as possible. It feels full when I practice lines with my daughter for Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and we laugh at my horrible British accent. It feels full during dinner when we talk to each other. Awwwww jeez. Sappy but true. Still picking up the wrappers. Ordering extra spoons. And doing my best to do what my teenager does…not let the little things bother me.
Would love to hear your ideas on dealing with the kids’ trash.